As If!
by Chihuahuagal13
Summary: Draco and Hermione are both being threatened by the Dark Lord. Professor McGonagall has devised a plan to keep both of them safe though. Draco and Hermione are shipped off to America to go into hiding together as Muggles. Dramione fanfiction. M to be safe
1. Chapter 1

Draco and Hermione hurried down the corridor. They didn't dare look at each other. They were enemies, and they had nothing to do with each other. Neither of them knew why McGonagall had called them both to her office. They arrived there out of breath. You practically had to run through the hallways now. The Carrows all but paid the students to torture each other. Draco knew not a single person would dare try to curse him, but a misfired curse can hit anyone. Draco pushed open the door and walked inside McGonagall's office, purposely letting go of the heavy door so that it would swing back and hit Hermione. Unfortunately, for him, Hermione had expected a trick like that and caught the door. Giving him a look of pure hatred, she walked in after him.

"Granger, Malfoy. Sit down," McGonagall said, her voice was grave and both obeyed. "Draco, I've received a note from your parents. It involves both of you."

Draco wondered how a note from his parents could involve the mudblood.

"Draco, your parents have left You Know Who's side. They've gone into hiding. You are to remain here under my protection. They also seem to believe that Professor Snape will continue to protect you even after he finds out. I, on the other hand think that that would be unlikely. My guess is that Snape will try to throw you to the Dark Lord. I've devised a plan…"

It was at this point that Draco tuned out. His parents had left the Dark Lord's side? Could they get any more stupid? The Dark Lord will kill them! He'll not only kill them, but he'll kill me! Draco would never admit, but this thought scared him more than anything else did. Curse his parents! Didn't they realize that they would all die? What on earth made them do that? Draco mumbled a string of cuss words under his breath. He then noticed that Hermione was arguing with Mickey G, as Draco and his cohorts called her. He did a double take. Frizzfreak arguing with a teacher? That was something new. He tuned back in.

"I'm not going to go into hiding with _him_! Do you think I'm crazy?"

"Hermione, it's the only way. He Who Must Not Be Named is going after you. He wants to get to Harry and you are the closest way."

"Why can't I just go back to Harry and Ron? They need my help!"

"Hermione, you of all people should know the answer to that. If you go to them, the Deatheaters will follow you. Straight to Harry. If that happens…"

"I know," Hermione sighed. "But isn't there any other solution?"

"Not that I can think of. They know that you're here and they know why you're here."

"Of course they know why I'm here! They're the ones who put me out of commission in the first place! Still, do I have to go with _Malfoy_?"

"Hermione, there's no other option. The two of you have to go into hiding and this is the best way to do it. Now, Draco, Hermione, listen closely to my directions. Your lives and others' depend on it. Your flight is tomorrow. You will take a port key to my friend's house. She lives quite close to the airport. From there, you will walk to the airport and get on the 10:50 flight to America. Here are your tickets. Hermione, I trust that you'll help Draco fit in. Whether you want to or not, you two have to work together if you want to survive. Here are the directions for when you arrive at your destination. Follow them carefully. I want both of you packed tonight. Do it while everyone is asleep. No one must know where you have gone. Do you understand? Malfoy, I want your word that you will not mention your destination to anyone."

"Like that's worth much," Hermione whispered under her breath.

Professor McGonagall gave her a stern look but didn't say anything.

"Whatever," Draco said, not quite sure what was going on.

"The two of you need to be in my office at 5:30 tomorrow morning. Based on your previous years, I am certain you will be able to get here without being caught. Now go. Get packed, get some sleep, and I'll see you at 5:30. Oh, and pack light. Bring only what you can carry on yourselves or in a small bag." She waved them away.

When the two of them got into the hallway, Draco turned to Hermione, "So what did she want?"

"Did you not here a single thing she said? Jeez Ferret face, I actually thought that you were a little smarter than that. You and I have to go into hiding because the Deatheaters are after us. McGonagall thinks it will be best if the two of us go into hiding together. We're leaving for America tomorrow morning."

Draco stared at her, his jaw hanging so low that it was all Hermione could do to keep from laughing at how stupid he looked.

"Y…You, m… me – America?" Draco stuttered.

"Oh, so you do have ears. Well I suppose that's good."

Draco started to walk away.

"By the way, McGonagall said that we are going to have to disguise ourselves as Muggles."

That stopped Draco, "WHAT? Is she insane? Does she really think I'm going to disguise myself as a _Muggle_?" He said the last word with a note of disgust.

"You don't have any choice. Neither do I. If either of us wants to survive, we have to work together. Trust me; you're the last person I would want to go into hiding with. In fact, you're the last person I would want to be in the same building with, much less living in the same house. Well, we're leaving tomorrow. I actually want to get some sleep tonight, so I'm going to bed. Oh, and Malfoy, you can only bring one bag," Hermione grinned and walked on down the hall.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione yawned and sat up. Oh, crap! It was 5:00! She only had 30 minutes before she had to leave. She had to do a double check to make sure she hadn't forgotten to pack something, she had to get ready to go, and she needed to get something to eat, all before 5:30. Oh, and she'd probably have to go get Ferret face and make sure he was ready to go. Hermione sighed and started going through her bag yet again.

"Oh! I need my Runes book," she mumbled to herself, "I may need it. But, then again, I may need Common Housekeeping Spells more. Oh. I'll just bring them both. If we're disguising ourselves as Muggles then I probably don't need my wizard robes but, what if I do?" she carried on, until she believed that she had everything she needed. She then grabbed her bag and hurried downstairs. She had a surprise when she got there. Ginny was sitting in a chair by the window. There was no way to get to the door without being seen.

"Hi Hermione! What are you doing up?" asked a very chipper Ginny.

"I could ask you the same thing," Hermione said stifling a yawn.

"I come down here every morning. I like to watch the sunrise." It was then that Ginny noticed Hermione's bag. "Where are you going?"

"Umm, to the bathroom."

"Why can't you use the one in the common room?"

"It's flooded."

"No it's not! I was just in there! Hermione, why are you lying to me? Are you going to join Ron and Harry again?"

"Yes, I am, but I don't want anyone to know!" Hermione spoke a little too soon. Ginny gave her a suspicious look. "I want to get back at them after what they did to me."

"I understand, but don't let the need for revenge get a hold of you. Maybe after you settle your score, you'll stop having nightmares."

"Sorry, did I wake you up last night?"

"Yeah, it was sort of annoying, but I know you can't help it. The other girls hate you for it though. They've started all these rumors about why you wake up screaming in the middle of the night. Some of them even blame their failing grades on lack of sleep because of you. It probably is better that you're going."

"Speaking of which, I really need to run. Bye Ginny. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you to. Say hello to that pig-headed brother of mine for me."

"I will."

"Bye."

Hermione hurried out of the common room.

Draco Malfoy was sitting in Professor McGonagall's office, tapping his foot impatiently and continuously glancing at his watch. Where was the Braniac? She was typically the first one anywhere. It was already 5:38. If they were going to do this, they needed to do it now. Not that he had any desire to go into hiding with the mudblood. He had no choice. He had realized last night that Mickey G was actually right. If Draco remained at Hogwarts, he would be killed. He thought that America might work out. The Dark Lord would never think of a Malfoy hiding amongst Muggles in a completely different country. While they were waiting, McGonagall had told Draco about where in America they would be living. Apparently, they would be acting as high school exchange students. They were going to be living together in a house that the school kept for that reason. Originally, there were supposed to be two other exchange students from Africa, but they canceled. Draco's thoughts were interrupted as Hermione walked in the room and smiled somewhat sheepishly.

"I'm really sorry I'm late. Ginny saw me on the way out. She wanted to know where I'm going. I told her that I'm going back to help Harry and Ron. She seemed to believe it." She turned and saw Draco sitting in the corner. He was still wearing his wizard robes, but he was here and he was packed. His large duffel bag was packed so full that it couldn't even close all the way. Hermione saw a hair care bottle sticking out.

"If both of you are ready to go, I have the port key."

"Professor, why aren't we apparating?"

"I considered that, but then I looked at Malfoy's apparition test results."

"He didn't pass?"

"He passed… barely. The two of you will be traveling to my friend Amelia's house. She is a squib so she has no magic. I take it you both remembered your tickets? Very good. From here on out, you two are Muggles. I wish you the best of luck."

Hermione and Draco took this to be their key to leave. They grabbed the port key and left.


	3. Chapter 3

The squib, Amelia, had a small house that was right next to the airport. As Draco and Hermione arrived, a low-flying plane thundered overhead.

"What was that?" Draco shouted jumping in surprise.

"It's a plane. Haven't you ever been on one?"

"Why would I have a need to go on a plane? I'm a wizard, not a Muggle!"

"You have at least heard of them right?" Hermione asked with a smile.

"Of course I've heard of airplanes! They fly over my mansion all the time."

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure…" Hermione said with a smirk.

"Ah, you two must be Minerva's students. It's nice to meet you. Just to keep things safe for the two of you, I don't know your names and I don't want to know them. Oh… ah boy, are you going to the airport wearing wizard robes?"

"What else am I supposed to wear?" Draco rolled his eyes.

"Muggle clothes," Hermione said. "You need clothes similar to the ones I'm wearing."

Draco looked at Hermione. She was indeed wearing Muggle clothes. She had on a pair of short pants that came to about the top of her ankles, a pink shirt that fit tightly and had a big, black peace sign on it, and a pair of strange colorful sandals that clicked when she walked. He imagined what he'd look like in them. The image made him cringe. Pink was not his color and peace signs definitely did not represent his nature! The fitted pants would look strange on his legs and the colorful shoes would _not_ look good against his pale skin! He really hoped he didn't have to wear _that_. Unknown to Draco, Amelia had left the room. She returned now.

"Here, these look about your size. I don't need them so you can keep them. Of course you'll need more once you get to your destination." Amelia held up a handful of garments. Draco took them, looking nervous. He sighed in relief when he saw that they were not the fitted, colorful things that he had imagined. He held a pair of baggy shorts with numerous pockets, a loose, dark green shirt with a black skull on it, and a pair strange looking, navy sneakers that said 'All Star' on the heel.

"The bathroom's over there. You can go get changed and then I have breakfast for you."

Draco walked off to the bathroom while Hermione followed Amelia into the kitchen.

"I take it; you have some experience in Muggles. Obviously you know how to dress like one."

"Yes. My parents are Muggles."

"Shhh. Not too much information. You never know who might be listening," Amelia hissed. "Here, do you want some orange juice?"

"No thank you."

"Give me some," Draco said walking into the room. Hermione looked up from her muffin. The Muggle clothes fitted Draco well. He looked like any other teenage Muggle boy. They might even fit in America.

"Excuse me! Not if you ask like that mister!"

Hermione snorted, spitting muffin crumbs everywhere. Draco stared at the woman. No one had _ever_ dared speak to him like that.

"What did you say to me?"

"I said, you don't get any orange juice until you ask nicely."

"Well, fine! I don't want any of your stupid orange juice! I don't want your muffins either!" He stormed out of the room and Hermione burst out in a fit of wild laughter.

"Has he always been like that?"

"As far as I know, he has. Although he probably had better manners around V– never mind. I won't go there."

Amelia smiled and glanced at the big grandfather clock against the wall. "If you two want to catch that plane you need to leave now. You have to be there early if you want to be sure of your seats."

"That's a good idea. I suppose I should go find D – I mean him."

"He's in the foyer. I hear him pacing," Amelia said.

"Thanks. Oh and thanks for his clothes too."

"You're welcome. Good luck."

"Thanks. Bye."

Hermione walked into the foyer and saw Draco pacing.

"It's time to go. We need to get to the airport."

"Fine, sure, whatever."

"Bye Amelia! Thanks for your help!"

"You're welcome! Bye!"

Draco and Hermione walked out of the door, careful not to look at each other. Quickly they hurried across the street and into the airport. Draco was shocked when he entered the building. It was huge. Muggles were everywhere. He didn't know where to look. In one direction were food places, while in another direction were a bunch of counters with boxes above them. The boxes had screens that were constantly changing. They confused him because he had no idea what they were. The Mudblood seemed to know exactly what was going on and exactly what they needed to do.

"Come on Malfoy! Stopping staring. You look like a little kid. Do you see any ATM's?"

"Any what?"

"Never mind, I'll ask. Excuse me!" she called to a nearby officer, "Do you know where the ATM is?"

"Right over there ma'am"

"Thank you."

She walked over to where the officer had pointed. On the wall was a large blue, plastic thing. It had a screen, a keypad, and two slots. Draco wondered what it did. He watched Hermione take out a plastic card, swipe it in the machine, and press certain numbers on the keypad. She then pressed more numbers and Muggle money started pouring out of one slot. A receipt came out of the other slot. Hermione picked up both and put them in her bag.

"There, now we have money. I'm getting a frappuccino. You might want to eat something before we get on the plane. I don't know if they'll provide snacks or not and I didn't bring any with me."

"Whatever."

They walked in silence over to the food courts. Hermione rushed over to the Starbucks and ordered a double chocolate frappuccino.

"You want anything?"

"If I wanted something, I would get it myself!"

"With what money?"

Draco reached into his pocket, prepared to take out his wizard money. Then it donned on him that that would have no use here in the Muggle world. Hermione was smiling at him smugly.

"Fine," he looked at the menu and picked something random, "Freshly brewed coffee."

"What size?" the person at the counter asked him.

"Umm, medium?"

"You mean Grande?" the clerk asked.

"Yes, that's what he wants," Hermione answered. "Oh, and two chocolate dipped biscotti's please."

Hermione handed over the money, and the two of them got their drinks and biscotti's and sat down. She watched as Malfoy took a sip of his coffee. His face scrunched up and he nearly gagged.

"What is this stuff?"

"It's just coffee. Try putting cream and sugar in it," she gestured to the counter. "But hurry up. We need to go to wait over where our plane will be."

Draco grumbled under his breath as he mixed some cream and sugar into the bitter coffee. The Mudblood seemed to know everything. He hated her for it too. He knew that she only knew about Muggle stuff because of her parents, but still, she didn't have to rub it in his face! It seemed that she was always trying to prove that she was better than he was. Well, she wasn't! He would show her that he could manage just fine in the world of Muggles! He pulled out his ticket and looked at it. He then looked at the signs posted on the walls. He needed to be all the way over there. The only way to get over there though, was to go through the funny looking gates. He started walking in that direction. Hermione caught up with him. When they got to the gates, she stopped in front of one and took her shoes off. She also emptied her pockets into a bin on the counter beside her and handed her bag to the officer. The officer waved her through and shoved the bin and the bag underneath the covered part of the counter. Hermione walked under the gate, put her shoes on, and grabbed her stuff. Draco decided to copy Hermione. He took his shoes off and started to empty his pockets. What about his wand? Did he put it in the bin? He glanced at Hermione. She seemed to know what he was thinking because she shook her head 'no'. The rest was easy and soon he and Hermione were walking to the plane. They barely made in time, though. When they got there. A man at a counter beckoned to them. Hermione gave him her ticket and Draco followed suit. He tore off part of the tickets and gave them back. Hermione and Draco walked through the door and into a small tunnel that ended in the plane. They found their seats. They were sitting right next to each other. Hermione had the window seat, Draco had the middle, and a very large man who had a laptop and was watching movies, got the aisle seat. So far, Draco hated airplanes. Thirty minutes later, the flight attendant came out and began to talk to them about safety. Five minutes after that, they took off. At that instant, Draco loved airplanes. It was like being on an extremely large, covered broom.


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione stretched; glad to be off the cramped plane. She had never been a big fan of flying, no matter what the case was. Planes, brooms, and flying creatures may have been frequent in her life, but that didn't mean she liked them. Malfoy on the other Ferret face on the other hand, had loved the plane ride. He switched places with her because he wanted to see the ocean while they were flying over it. Hermione knew she shouldn't be surprised. He played Quidditch, so why shouldn't he love airplanes? Still, she had hoped for something to hold over him. Then again, when she saw Malfoy's face as they walked into the Atlanta airport, it was all she could do not to burst out laughing. She had to admit, it was a huge airport.

"So where do we go now?"

"Umm, hold on." She fished McGonagall's directions out of her bag. "First, we need to exchange our money for American money. Then we need to find the chauffer who will take us to the school."

"Where are we supposed to get American money?"

"No idea. Let's ask at the welcome desk." They walked over to the desk and Hermione gave the clerk an award-winning smile. Draco just glowered. "Excuse me, but we're here on an exchange student program and we have no idea how anything works. Where can we exchange our money?"

The clerk returned the smile and gave them specific directions on how to get money and where to find their ride. Hermione thanked him and they went off to follow his directions. As soon as they had done that, the two of them walked to the main door to find their chauffer. There were many people holding up a variety of signs. Draco finally found the one that said Liberty High School Foreign Exchange Student Program. He started walking towards it. Hermione tagged along behind.

The chauffer was a large man with glasses and a goatee he smiled at them as they walked up to him. "You two must be the exchange students! Christina and Josh, right?"

"No, that's not us," Hermione said.

"Yes, it is!" Draco said. "No one ever calls her by her full name though. That's why she didn't recognize it." Draco realized that McGonagall never told the Mudblood about their false names.

"Oh, okay! If you two will follow me, I'll give you a ride to the school, so you can meet the principal."

When the chauffer turned his back, Draco poked Hermione in the arm, "You almost blew it back there! Did McGonagall not tell you about our cover names?" Hermione shook her head. "Your Christina Wilson and I'm Josh Smith. We attended a prestigious private school that no one knows about, but does exist. Its name is the Wiley Boarding School. It's the same ages as Hogwarts is."

"Oh."

The ride to the school was filled with an awkward silence. Hermione spent the time memorizing who she was supposed to be. Draco spent it, messing with his fingernails. The ride from the airport was a surprising long and boring one. Riding in an automobile was new to Draco, but he showed no excitement over it. He did seem slightly impressed by the size of the interstate and the number of cars on it, though. Hermione watched him carefully. She knew about Muggle things. _He_ did not, and that could endanger their chances of surprising. As Hermione continued to watch Draco, she noticed that he wasn't really that bad looking. In fact, he was somewhat nice looking.

_Hermione! Stop that! Are you insane! It doesn't matter what he looks like! He's your enemy. E-N-E-M-Y! He's a rotten-brained, cold-hearted ferret face! He almost killed Dumbledore!_ That stopped it. The thought of Dumbledore's death sent Hermione into a sad mood. She stayed like that until they pulled into the driveway of Liberty High School.

"We're here. This is Liberty High School," the chauffer said.

Draco and Hermione climbed out of the car and followed the chauffer into the building. He directed them to the front office to the right of the main entrance, and then left. Hermione walked into the office with Draco sullenly following.

"Ah, you two must be the foreign exchange students. Welcome to America. I hope your travel wasn't too unpleasant," the secretary said.

"It was fine. Thank you. I believe we're supposed to meet with the principal," Hermione replied.

"Yes. Right this way." She led them behind the counter and down a short hallway, and then stopped at the last door on the left. "Here you are. Principal Walters is waiting."

"Thank you," Hermione said, always polite. The secretary left, and taking a big breath, Hermione reached for the knob.

"Welcome to America! I think you'll find your stay here quite amazing. I'm Principal Walters and remind me of your names again. I seemed to have misplaced the sheet with your information underneath all this mess." He shuffled through one of the many stacks of papers on his desk.

"I'm Christina Wilson," Hermione said.

"And I'm Josh Smith," Draco said.

"Yes, I remember now. Oh, here are your schedules. Why don't I give you a tour of the school, and then I'll show you the ES House. That's the Exchange Student House by the way. Come on now." Principal Walters led them out of the room an out into the hallways of the school.

Hermione was paying close attention as they walked through the many hallways of Liberty High School, when she had a sudden thought. _Could it be? When Principal Walters stood up, I could have sworn I saw something in his pocket. But that can't be right. I couldn't have really seen what I think I saw in his pocket! But what if…_


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for taking so long in writing this chapter. Between school, life, and other stories, I don't have much time for fanfiction. I'll try to get the next chapter up sooner. :D – Chihuahuagal13

"Mudblood! What's taking you so long? I can't eat breakfast without your money!" Draco shouted up the stairs. Hermione disregarded him. She knew very well that he didn't have the slightest clue on how to use Muggle money, much less, American Muggle money. Luckily, Hermione had looked into it, but she was perfectly happy to wait to eat if Malfoy had to suffer. Especially if he was going to call her names.

"What _are_ you doing?" Draco shouted again.

"I'm putting on make-up!"

"Why?"

"Because! That's what girls do idiot! We spend countless hours applying colored goop to our already smothered faces. And it's all because we want to look beautiful."

"Good grief! All I want to do is get a decent meal!"

"Well, fix yourself one!"

"There's not any food in the kitchen."

Hermione was well aware of this, as she had gone through the whole house yesterday. The house contained five bedrooms, and each room had a full bathroom. The kitchen was well stocked with everything one might need except food. There was also a living room with a gas fireplace and overstuffed couches. Next to it, was a study complete with three desks, a bookshelf containing reference materials, and four computers. They had both chosen bedrooms upstairs. Draco claimed the one to the far left of the stairs and Hermione the far right. Each bedroom contained two twin beds, two nightstands, a bookshelf, an alarm clock and a radio. The bathrooms were well stocked with towels, hand soap, toilet paper, and such, but they lacked anything that could be personal preference; aka shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush. Hermione was glad that she had brought all of that with her. She also knew that she needed to go shopping. The principal had given her directions to the nearest Wal-Mart, saying she could get everything they needed there. He had also given her $200 to spend on food. She had been surprised at his trust.

"Come on! Let's go!" Draco hollered.

"Alright, alright! I'm coming." Hermione grabbed her handbag, hurried down the stairs and out the front door. She paused only for Draco to lock it. They walked to the street and stood at the bus stop. Hermione had memorized the bus schedule and knew that one should arrive in about five minutes. To Draco's disappointment, the bus did arrive at the time she predicted. They got off at IHOP.

"This looks like a good place to eat breakfast," Hermione said

"International House of Pancakes?"

"Sure, why not? Oh," she lowered her voice, "I have something important to tell you. I'll tell you when we get a table."

Hermione asked to be seated at a booth. They quickly ordered something to drink then waited for the waiter to leave.

"What is it?" Draco asked. Something about Hermione's tone had made him feel like this actually was important.

"I saw something in the principal's pocket yesterday. I'm pretty sure it was a wand," Hermione's voice contained a note of worry.

"So, he's a wizard?"

"Yes, but we don't know whose side he's on."

"We need to keep an eye out. Let's see if we can figure out what side he's on. In the mean time, I think we need to keep a low profile."

"Like you could do that? If you're not showing off for the teacher, you're studying about something that no one in the bloody universe cares about! Yeah, I'd like to see you try to lay low."

Hermione clenched her fists and took a couple of deep breaths. Over the last few days, she had started to forget what an ass he was. What right did he have to criticize her about her studies?

"You think that I can't lay low? Have you looked in a mirror lately? You're the one who doesn't have a clue about anything around you! You stand out like a sore thumb! Between your _lack_ of knowledge and your stupid attitude one would think that of the two of us, you're the one with the inability to lay low. The world doesn't revolve around you, you know!"

Draco just rolled his eyes.

Hermione paid the bill and they got up and walked down the street to Wal-Mart.

When they walked in Draco's eyes grew, but he tried to hide it. Hermione knew that Draco had never been in a superstore. His parents wouldn't dare shop in a Muggle store, let alone, a Muggle superstore. Hermione, on the other hand, had been in many superstores before. This one wasn't much different.

"Okay, Malfoy. Here's a list. If there's something on it that you can't find, ask an employee. They're the people in the blue shirts with name tags. Follow the list exactly. I even wrote down brand names. Oh, and don't be one of those guys who's afraid to ask for help. That would make you look like a baby."

"So, I have to get all of this stuff? What about you?"

"I have an even longer list. Here," she pushed a shopping cart towards him, "You'll need this. When you have everything on that list, why don't you look for some more clothes? I suggest you stick with plain colored shorts and T-shirts. Have fun!" Hermione walked off with her own cart, just barely turning in time to hide her smile.

Draco looked at his list. Did the Mudblood seriously expect him to get all of this stuff? He read the first few items.

_Malfoy's numerous hair products_

_Malfoy's numerous other products_

_Socks for Malfoy_

_White_

_Black_

_Shoes for Malfoy_

_Tennis shoes, sneakers, etc._

_Only one pair of dress shoes!_

_1 bottle of root beer_

Great, she thought that he seriously had no brain. The list was incredibly detailed. It listed brands and/or colors for almost everything. There was one item on the list though, that he didn't know what it was. It listed a brand name and a size, but it didn't actually say what it was. He thought about how Hermione had practically dared him to ask an associate, and decided to that one last. Draco headed toward the men's department and collected everything that Hermione said he needed. He then picked up a couple of other things all the while, keeping his eyes peeled for someone with a nametag on. Finally, he found someone. The associate was very short and slim. He had glasses that seemed to keep falling of his nose.

"Umm, excuse me! Yeah, uh, my friend," Draco grimaced at the word, "made this list and I have no idea what this is." He showed the associate the list, trying incredibly hard not to roll his eyes. The associate read the list, and then gave Draco a strange look.

"Umm, I think I know what it is. Let me ask another associate," he spoke into his walky talky. "Hey Martha, you mind coming back to the men's department for a minute? There's a kid here who's got a shopping list. I'm not quite sure what's on it."

"Oh shut up already! I'm coming!"

A large African American woman came up behind the nerdy associate. She looked to be in about her late forties. She took one look at the list and burst out laughing. She had an incredibly loud voice and it seemed to carry all over the store. Browsing customers turned their heads to see what was so funny.

"Boy, who gave you this list? Was it your girlfriend? I feel sorry for you."

"It wasn't my girlfriend!" Draco interrupted.

"Well, whoever it is, I'm sorry that you have to go shopping with them. A boy your age shouldn't be shopping for this kind of stuff,"

"Will you just tell me what the bloody things are?!" Draco cut her off again.

"Sure honey. They're tampons. You'll find them on aisle ten. You know what tampons are right? I can show you if you need me to."

"I'm seventeen and I've slept with countless girls! Do you think I don't know what a tampon is?" he shouted. The woman looked a little surprised.

"Boy, if I were you, I'd keep it in your pants a little more often. Seventeen is way too young to be sleeping around with every girl you see."

Draco snatched the list out of her hand and stalked off, only to have to come back to get the shopping cart. He found Hermione in the bra section. He walked up to her, not realizing where he was.

"Get your own freaking tampons!" he all but shouted.

Hermione smiled and said, "You know, you look a lot like Ron at the moment. I didn't realize that your ears turned red too. You embarrass a lot less easily though. He would have blushed just by seeing me in this section."

Draco looked around and discovered that he was standing in the middle of the bra section.

"For Christ's sake!" he shouted, repeating the phrase that he'd picked up from his last girlfriend.

"Don't you remember your commandments?'You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.' Didn't your mother teach you better than that? Really, children these days. They don't even show respect for their Lord…," a woman nearby yelled at him then walked off, mumbling to herself about the manners of teenagers.

Hermione was stifling giggles. "You seem to be having a horrible day today Malfoy."

"Thank you Captain Obvious!"

"You're welcome Lieutenant Sarcasm," she replied with a smile.

"You know what, shut up. Just shut the hell up. We're leaving."

"I have to get a book first. Oh, and my tampons," she smiled again. "I'll meet you by the checkout."

Draco glared at her, then turned and walked to the cash register. He was standing there waiting, when he spotted the books. With a quick glance to make sure the Granger girl wasn't around, he walked over. Slowly, he browsed the couple of shelves. In the end, he picked up a mystery by John Grisham and a book by Clive Cussler. He quickly paid for just the two books with some money he had taken out of Hermione's room and stuffed the books and the receipt in his large pockets. He returned to the shopping cart as Hermione walked into sight.

"Where did you go and why did you leave the shopping cart here?"

"I went to the bathroom for your information. What are those?"

"Contacts. The vision center over there actually carries colored contacts for people with 20/20 vision. I got blue for you. Your gray eyes are too noticeable. If the principal asks, tell him that you had contacts in on the day he met us. I on the other hand, bought a hair straightener and some black hair dye. If anyone asks about it, I did a twenty-four hour dye thing that day. Got it? I figured we should try to make a bigger effort in laying low. I thought about buying hair dye for you, but your hair's too noticeable already, and it would look suspicious if we dyed it. Okay. Let's check out."

After they paid, they walked out into the cart area. Hermione pulled to folded tote bags out of her purse.

"Here," she hissed, "I did a spell that will make them carry much more than they are designed to. Everything should fit in these two bags. You know, I still can't believe we spent $300 dollars in there."

Draco started putting shopping bags into one of the totes. He was surprised at the price too, but for a different reason. While Hermione thought that it was a lot of money, Draco was actually surprised at how little they had spent. He knew that a pound was less than a U.S. dollar, but he could spend 500 pounds without batting an eyelash. They finished packing the bags and they each took one and headed to the bus.


End file.
